


Chasing Wild Hogs

by DaddyDrac



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon)
Genre: AngeryTreffyIsFunny, Cute, F/M, M/M, Pigs, SlightNSFW, homely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 09:31:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17805485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaddyDrac/pseuds/DaddyDrac
Summary: Just because Trevor no longer stinks like a pig sty, it doesn't mean he should build one. Right?The trio is settling into their peaceful and domestic life. Trevor thinks he knows exactly what they need.





	Chasing Wild Hogs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KakitoSougo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KakitoSougo/gifts).



> Okay, this is a one shot based on the idea KakitoSougo had about the trio trying to catch wild hogs XD It got more nsfw than I anticipated, but I hope it ended up okay. I had fun writing it at least! It was such a nice, fun idea after all. Certainly not something I would have came up with XD

„We need to get some pigs“ Trevor declared one morning upon waking up, not even having opened his eyes yet. He wore a satisfied smile on his face, warm and comfortable underneath the heavy feathered duvet and numerous blankets. He was as smug as a cat on a hot summer roof, which was proved further by how he wiggled happily into the softness around him, sighing in content. 

„We what now?“ Sypha asked, in a much different state than her lover. Oh, she too was comfortable, but much more awake, and lacking any form of covers. Her naked skin was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and she laid on her back with her hands underneath her head, trying to steady her breathing after the coupling she just had with her other lover. Alucard had fallen into a nap soon after they were done, nuzzled into her chest and one of her legs thrown over his waist, which left little to imagination when hunter glanced between her legs. She was still wet from her own slick and Adrian’s release, her thighs shiny as well as if licked. It made Trevor’s cock twitch, and he moved closer to her, capturing her lips in a kiss.   
„I want us to get some pigs“ he said again, taking her bottom lip between her lips as his hand moved to tease at her nipple. „I want to make ham and bacon for the winter“   
„Treffy... pigs are expensive“ she whined, trying not to arch into his touch, although her legs parted slightly further as if on their own.   
„We can catch wild ones, then. No one said we couldn’t be crafty“ he shrugged, moving his lips to her neck, where he gently teased his tongue of the place where Alucard usually bit her. She gasped, well accustomed to equaling that spot with pleasure. Trevor smirked.   
„So you’re telling me you’re going to go and chase wild pigs. Is that what you are saying?“ she asked, voice trembling with growing desire.   
„No. What I am going to do is suck the cum from your cunt and fuck you senseless“ he promised her, peppering kisses over her torso as he slid between her legs. „And then we are going to chase pigs /together/“ he added, breathing hotly over her clit. 

„He wants what now?“ Alucard asked once Sypha told him of Trevor’s plans. The dhampir was cleaning Trevor’s face with a damp rag, having woken up to Sypha’s moans as Trevor bore into her, and he couldn’t resist not shoving his cock in the man’s mouth. The adventure left them all glad and satisfied, but also quite messy, so they all need a bit of time before they went out to fulfill Trevor’s goal of the day.   
„He wants us to go and catch some wild pigs“ Sypha repeated from her place in the bathtub, her limbs bent in odd angles as she shaved her legs. Usually one of her lovers would help her, if anything just because they knew she enjoyed being pampered like that, but currently they were busy cleaning the residue of release from Trevor’s face.   
„Why do you want that?“ Alucard asked with a breathy chuckle, looking back at the man who was now clean of cum and simply nuzzling his hand like an overly affectionate ham.   
„I want to keep them so I can make ham and bacon“ he explained with a serene smile on his face „It will be good to have stocks for winter. This summer is hot- a hot summer means an equally cold winter“ he elaborated. His male lover shook his head.   
„That is just a peasant superstition... but regardless, you are right that we should have stocks. Let us eat something and then we can go. Oh, and Sypha? Don’t bother getting too clean. I doubt we will get out of this without any mud thrown at us“.   
That was the understatement of the year, the dhampir thought ruefully an two hours later, as Trevor ran into him at full speed and knocked him down into the sticky brown puddle.   
„Come on Adrian! This is fun!“ the man yelled in glee, standing up to charge at a frantic pig again, getting even more dirty in the process. They could’ve herded the group of pigs back to the house half an hour prior, but the hunter was having way too much fun just chasing them around. They were big and fat, and there were seven of them, three female and four male. They would do well to keep, and as Alucard looked at them, he could understand why Trevor wanted to have a pigsty, but he for the life of him couldn’t figure out why the male had so much running around with hogs.   
Sypha, who was sitting perched on a tree, probably exactly in order to avoid Alucard’s mud soaked fate, spoke up then.   
„Could you ride a pig?“ she asked, willing to accept an answer for either of them.   
„What? No“   
„Oh dear, I /have/ to try that now“ 

There was no question who said what there, and not a minute later, Trevor was straddling a struggling hog, who protested the action by frantically swinging forward and backwards, trying to have the offending rider dismount.   
„You knew this was going to happen“ Alucard accused the speaker, looking up at her with disapproval. The grin he received in return was one with filled with smugness and no remorse what so ever.   
„Come on now. This is priceless. Look at him!“ she cackled, although her smile gained a slightly sinful note to it the more she looked.   
„Look at him“ she repeated, slower now and in a lower note. „Look at his thighs- God, how do those pants not just burst?“ she asked, licking her lips.  
„I guess he got fit from riding my cock“ Alucard said dryly, rolling his eyes. He was trying to appear unaffected, wanting to keep the illusion of maturity among the humans who had no desire to hide their childlike impulses.   
„Alucard, dear. So vulgar“ Sypha teased absent mindedly, her eyes glued to the muscle of Trevor’s legs that was so obvious through the thin material of the pants she had sewn him.   
„I am going to try that too“ she exclaimed, hopping down from the tree and landing gracefully thanks to the clever and subtle use of her powers.  
„Sypha no! You’re going to get filthy!“ Alucard protested, but of course, it went ignored. Sypha was tossed of her hog merely half a minute after she mounted it, which made Trevor bellow a winner’s taut, declaring himself the king of hogs. How he could call himself such a thing and consider himself awesome would never be clear to either of his lovers, but luckily, it wasn’t his silver tongue that made them love him.   
At the end of the day, the only way to stop Sypha from trying to beat Trevor (who was not even once thrown off his noble beast) was that Alucard himself tries out the hog riding.   
„Fuck!“ he yelled, unused to riding even a horse if he did not have a saddle, but a /pig/.... wow. It was awful. How did either of his lunatics find it funny? Well, him getting tossed in the mud by a quite an unhappy pig was funny enough, and that particular sight was what got them to finally put a stop to their game and start ushering the pigs back to the house. They ended up putting them in the tool shed, having put out most of the things outside so that the pigs wouldn’t get hurt. After Trevor brought them a large tub of water and secured the door, it was time for the trio to bathe, eat, and retire for the day. They would need their rest, at least the men would, since the following day they would be building a sty.   
„Wow. It is going well“ Sypha remarked the next day, honestly surprised by how much progress the boys have made. They got up way before her to get a headstart, and they made the most of it indeed, as she saw once she came out to fetch them to eat. The foundations were already done, and they were starting on the walls. Considering that they both were shirtless and sweaty, it was a testimony to how hard they worked. Alucard’s hair was braided to his head in a style that only Trevor knew how to do, and she smiled thinking how he must have sat him down before they started working, just so his blond tresses would not get in his way. 

In the evening, the sty already had walls- the following morning they would build the roof, and move the pigs inside. She was proud of how well they were doing, and decided to show her appreciation.   
„Fuck, Sypha, that feels amazing“ Trevor groaned on the bed, his lover massaging the sore muscles, her hands heated by magic and skilled thanks to Adrian’s lessons. The dhampir has already gotten his massage, and currently was lying next to his boyfriend, munching on strawberries and occasionally feeding Trevor one as well.   
„There will be a housewife out of you yet, Sypha“ Alucard teased, catching Trevor’s shirt effortlessly when the woman tossed it at him.   
„I never thought I’d be rooted“ she said after a few minutes, pressing a kiss to the base of Trevor’s neck once she was done massaging his back. „It’s- it is much nicer than I thought it would be. I get idle feet sometime, but... here, with you two imbeciles, it really feels like home. The first one I ever had that wasn’t on wheels. I think we will be very happy here“ she concluded, spooning the sleepy Trevor from behind.   
„I agree“ Alucard said once he recovered from being called an imbecile „Living here has this serenity to it. Peace“ 

Peace maybe was there, but quiet certainly wasn’t. Around noon, as Sypha was wrapping up the lunch, she heard such spirited yelling that outside she ran right away to investigate. Luckily, nothing much was amiss, safe for Trevor standing stuck on the sty’s roof. So they finished it already...  
„Right, don’t put too much weight on it!“ Alucard called out to him, laughter shaking his lean frame. Trevor seemed to lose it at that, starting off a rant in such speed and frustration that his words gathered an odd accent of a fifty year old farmer.   
„WHERE THE FUCK UM A’ MENT TO PUT MAH WEIGHT? WHERE?! I CANNAEY PUT MAH WEIGHT UN THE ROOF IS DEAD THIN, I CANNAEY HOLD ON TO TAEY GUTTER WHAT AM I MEANT TO DO WAETH IT? YOU GO ADRIAN BE HERE FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES! YA FUCKING WANK-STAIN! DON’T SHIFT YER WEIGHT! WHIT THE FUCK YE TALKING ABOOT?! I CANNAEY PUT MAH WEIGHT ON THE ROOF I CANNAEY PUT MAH WEIGHT ON THE GUTTER WHERE IS IT MENT TO GO?! I CANNAEY JUST FUCKING- MOVE IT! THAT’S HOW STUPID YOU SOUND! YOU’RE AGITATING ME YOU’RE REALLY FUCKIN’ AGITATING ME!“   
By the end of the rant, Alucard was on his knees, almost rolling on the grass.   
„Oooooohooooo“ he wheezed, laughing so hard Sypha could make out legit tears on his face. And she had to admit, the situation was indeed hilarious, but she supposed she’d have to intervene before Trevor farted from all the stress.   
„I will rescue you!“ she bellowed, creating an ice slide that would help Trevor make his way down easily and safely too. The last Belmont rushed down, face reddened by justified fury as he stalked above the fallen dhampir, stomping his foot.   
„Don’t fucking laugh you bastard! You! I am talking to you!“ he yelled, all but jumping up and down. His efforts only served to animate the dhampir further, who now was kneeling hunched over, hitting the ground with his fists in joy.   
„I hope you piss yourself!“ Trevor finally concluded, stalking off into the house to try and calm himself down there.   
Alucard looked up at Sypha, and they both cracked up laughing.   
It was good half an hour later that Trevor stopped pouting, and that Alucard and Sypha didn’t break into giggles at the mere sight of him, and an hour later that the pigs were all nicely set in their sty, also given food and provided with water. The ground in the sty was not covered with stone, as it would get way too cold in the winter and the pigs would eat whatever hay they put underneath them to keep them warm.   
„They are not like cows, you know“ Trevor informed them, who among the three of them knew the most about farming „Cows are smart. They don’t eat their beds“.   
„Will we be getting cows next, Trevor?“ Alucard asked, only half joking, but Trevor shook his head „No, I love them too much. But we can get a goat!“ he suggested with such a bright smile that neither of his lovers had heart to refuse him. And truly, why wouldn’t they get a goat? It would be lovely to have fresh milk every day, and it could be used for other things too. It also would truly drive home the fact that, well. They had a home. They built it themselves, on the outskirts of a remote village that they did not know existed before they ran across it.   
It was not a replacement for the Belmont manor, nor was it even holding a candle to Adrian’s childhood home. It certainly wasn’t mobile like the cart Sypha grew up. But it was theirs, and Sypha was right- they truly were going to be happy there.

**Author's Note:**

> I of course must credit the video of Harry The Scottish Man Stuck on a Roof for Trevor's monologue, I almost quoted him word for word there XD. It was just too funny I couldn't resist.   
> If anyone has any ideas for another one shot, I'd be delighted to hear them!


End file.
